to my utah family, i love you

I just got back from the most wonderful, much needed, well deserved girls trip to Arizona. It was beautiful, sunny and warm. No kids, no laundry, no dishes, no schedules. Just us girls. It was awesome!

However, I come back home to rooms stacked full of boxes, clothes ready to be put in boxes and random piles of papers and clutter that need to be organized and filed so that they too can go in boxes. It's chaos here and time is quickly ticking down to when we need to get all packed, cleaned and ready to move.

I just have a feeling that the next two months are just going to be pure chaos. Wayne leaves next Monday to start his new job in Kansas City. Fisher still has a another whole month here at his school, so we will be moving in with wonderful friends, while me and the three kids tightly share a room. Then it's off to Colorado to live with my parents so that we can finally decide on a place to live in Kansas. Yes, I am trying my hardest not to panic and not to explode with emotion and tears. This is all just happening so fast and I still feel like there is so much to do.

I know moving to Kansas City will be a great and wonderful experience for both Wayne and our family, but I am not ready to say goodbye yet. There is still so much I want to go and do and visit before I leave. There are so many people I want to say goodbye to and share a laugh with.

I just can't believe that this is our last week here in our home. The home where we brought all three of our little babies to. The home that they learned to crawl and walk in. The home we celebrated their first Christmas' in. Our tiny little home that I complained was too small for us, too cramped for us. There are so many things I will miss about this home, this neighborhood, this city. I will miss my daily trip to Smith's marketplace, where I just walked with my babies, browsing and buying more useless junk to fill up my tiny little home. I will miss the walks to the park for playdates with my friends or the times we brought all of our toys and bikes to the church's gym in the winter just so us moms could get them to run their energy out. I will miss birthday celebrations at Red Robbin after the zoo. Girl's Nights out to some great and some not so great movies, just laughing and cracking up the whole time. I will miss Fisher's school and amazing teacher who taught my non-verbal son to talk and point and repeat words. Sweet words like "i love you mommy". I will miss walks around my neighborhood, sunsets in the mountains, hugs from sweet friends.

The time is quickly coming and I don't want it to yet. As much as I am looking forward to starting a great new chapter with my husband and kids. And as much as I am looking forward to moving into a bigger home, with more room and a basebment and a place for my kids to play and play. I just am not ready to close the book on this chapter yet. This was a great chapter in my life with great and wonderful people and learning and beautiful moments that I just want to hold on to for a little bit longer.

But if this chapter has to end, at least it's ending the way I would want it. Spending a fantastic weekend laughing my butt off with amazing friends, packing up my house with new and beautiful friends, and crying in the arms of my favorite people. Yes, this chapter is ending just beautifully.

To my Utah family, I love you!