bittersweet

Fisher had his last day of school this last week. I know, last day in July? But because Fisher is transitioning into kindergarten and into a neo-typical classroom, he was eligible to the early childhood extended program to make transitioning easier. Fisher LOVES school so he was one happy kid this summer.

The last day was hard. Mostly for me. I am completely overwhelmed with emotions and mixed feelings. I am so extremely proud of Fisher and three and half years ago I thought we would never get to this point, this place where Fisher is completely independent, potty trained, talking, making and socializing with friends and being integrated into a typical classroom at our neighborhood school. I would never have guessed that we would get to this place so soon. And now, here we are, getting him ready to go to elementary school and oh my goodness that is huge!

And I should add that I would probably(and most likely will be) emotional with any and every kid of ours going on to kindergarten because, lets face it, that is HUGE! But I am more emotional because I am so scared of what it's going to be like for Fisher. Fisher, I know, will love it no matter what. He loves school and he loves learning and he will be happy just being there, but I am worried that he will be picked on, or wont have friends and maybe a hard time connecting with his teachers and aids. I know that I can't shelter him forever, or always step in to say... "oh sorry, he has autism, he doesn't quite understand". And honestly I don't think a kindergartner would understand that anyway, but I want him to be involved and have friends. I want that because I know that is important to him.

I am also nervous because for the last two years since we have lived in Kansas City, Fisher has been going to pre-school with amazing teachers and aids who have become such a big part our lives and family. I am so going to miss his teacher Ms. Brenda. She was amazing and kind and just everything wonderful. And I know Fisher will miss his peers and friends. He has two best friends that he absolutely adores and it will be sad for him to see that they wont be in his class next year.

But I guess that is just part of life, right? We have all grown up and gone through school, making new friends and saying goodbye to old and we survived. So I know Fisher will too, it will just be a little bit more challenging for him, and me too.

On the last day, Fisher's teacher gave us a cd full of pictures from the last two years at school. They also sent us home a stack of printed photos too that Fisher just loves looking at.

Here are a few!

  I am also grateful that I got to be roommom for Fisher's class this year too. It was so fun to go and see Fisher at school and him interact with his friends. Plus I made some great friends with the staff and other moms too.

  Here Fisher is with his two best friends. They are brothers just 13 months apart and with high functioning autism and these three where the three amigos in the classroom. They were always together and Fisher would get upset if they missed a day. On the very last day of school, Fisher's teacher told me that she could tell the Fisher could sense something was up. He would constantly hold his friend's hands and would beg to sit by them and be by their sides. Broke my little heart, he is so going to miss them.

  What amazing two years we have had with Ms. Brenda and her amazing staff. Fisher has grown and blossomed in so many ways and accomplished things we never thought would be possible this fast. I can't thank them enough for their wonderful work. They are so loved and will definitely be missed. 

It's hard to imagine that in three short weeks I will once again become a big blubbering mess and send him of to kindergarten. I know it will be hard but I know he will just do great. He truly is an amazing kid and I am so blessed by all of the things he has taught our family. I love this kid and I am so extremely proud of him.