Sweet as a Cupcake!

Wayne surprised us last night by bringing home a birthday cupcake for Chase! We were all excited to celebrate again and to dig in to such a wonderfully sweet treat!

Chase didn't know what to think of the candle and he actually put it out with his fingers. After that he was a little hesitant to touch his cupcake again.

He loved it!

Happy Birthday Chase! We love you so much!

Chase Turned One!

I can't believe it, but my baby turned one last Thursday! (4.22.10)

We celebrated in Tennessee while Wayne was at his fishing tournament. The morning started off with me singing "Happy Birthday" many times because it just made Chase smile so much. We had waffles and Cheerios for breakfast and then headed off to the Knoxville Zoo! The zoo was a lot of fun, but it was a workout! I have never hiked so many steep hills just to see tigers, snakes and monkeys!

We then went and watched Wayne at his first weigh-in and played outside. We didn't get the opportunity to have Chase enjoy his first bite of cake or have him blow out his candles. Instead we had hot dogs and a cookie. Hopefully we will be able to celebrate with cake and presents as soon as we get settled from this trip...

Magic Boots

Sometimes I imagine I am wearing magic boots.

And I imagine that when I put them on, they give me powers.

Special powers.

Like when I wear my boots, I can change the world.

I can keep my house clean.

I can love my girls up real, real good.

I can understand some of the mysteries of the world and find peace with that which I don't understand.

I can dance like Madonna in this video.

And it's funny. Because, on days when the world seems to be twirling out of control and I can't keep up, I just picture my magic boots. I envision slipping my feet into their comfortable grip...and I walk. In my magic boots. And somehow, some way, my imaginary world seeps into my real world.

I like my magic boots.

I've been wearing them lately, and while my world is changing and growing and things are far from the comfortable stagnancy they were a year ago, I realize that there is so much good happening in our lives. And we are learning and stretching and growing and finding beauty in ways I didn't know we could.

I found this on a blog and absolutely loved it! I can totally relate and I am in search of some magic boots of my own.

Happy Easter!

It was a pretty low key Easter Sunday at the Crowder house. Wayne was out of town fishing so it was just me and the boys. I was pretty excited when the boys woke up to start looking for Easter eggs, however they decided that they both wanted breakfast first! After a few bites of Cheerios and some milk the search for the Easter eggs began. I am not sure if they really got the whole idea of searching for eggs but then end results where worth it. A lot of smiles and a whole lot of M&Ms!

Hope you all had a wonderful Easter Sunday! Hope it was full of beautiful blessings!

I am such a lucky mom!!

I have spent most of the day just watching my boys and I am so overwhelmed with how lucky I am! It amazes me how fast time flies. It amazes me how fast these little guys learn, interact with each other, and grow up. I am amazed by there independence but love it when they just need a hug from mom. I am truly, truly blessed to be a mom to these two little boys!

Fisher has been amazing me everyday! We have been working on pointing and sign language and I am so surprised at how fast he is picking it up! He is now able to point to juice, water or milk when he is thirsty. He can now point to mommy when you ask him where is mommy and he can even point to where the puzzle pieces go before he puts the puzzle piece in its place! I am so excited and happy that he can do that! He is also signing 'please', 'thank you', and 'milk'! So excited by that! But I am most amazed by how much of a big brother Fisher has become. For the longest time Fisher hardly noticed Chase. When Chase would cry Fisher would laugh. If Chase tried to play with Fisher, Fisher would simply stand up and move somewhere else and play with something new. Now Fisher is embracing his little brother. He is feeding Chase Cheerios. He gives Chase is pacifier. And he is even playing WITH Chase!! I am so excited and so happy to see them together!

Chase is amazing me too! He has become such a big little boy over the past few days!! He is feeding himself, pulling himself up! He is even getting close to cruising!! He is definitely our social butterfly! He loves to be where the action is! When I watch my friend's little kids, Chase is following them around! He loves the attention!

I am so lucky to have such great and wonderful little boys! I am excited by everything they do! The best is when they need a hug, and they come running to me! It makes my heart melt every time!

A little harder than I thought...

I always knew that my Fisher was special.

He has always been the quiet one. The one who doesn't mind what the events of the day will bring. He is easy going. He loves to read, color and do puzzles. He doesn't care if he is playing by himself. It doesn't bother him if his little brother is getting more attention than he is. Fisher is happy.

I always knew that he was special, but that still didn't prepare me for the outcome of his visit up at The University of Utah Department of Health.

Fisher is a little over two and isn't talking. Not one word. Although he does surprise us once in a blue moon with a repeat of a word we have said, it's nothing consistent and definitely not communication. We began working with a state program in hopes of getting Fisher to start talking. They suggested to us that we have Fisher evaluated because of some of the tendencies he has. Things we never knew were strange. That's when we headed to the U of U. We were first asked to meet with a developmental pediatrician. We met Dr. Winter, who both Wayne and I thought was wonderful. She evaluated Fisher and began discussing with us some of Fisher's unusual characteristics. It was a relief to us when she informed us that Fisher spinning his toys is not an autistic characteristic. It's a sensory characteristic. She also told us that Fisher getting excited and flapping his hands isn't really a autistic characteristic. It's a typical behavior in small children. But, Fisher doesn't talk, he doesn't point, and if he doesn't know you he wont make eye contact with you, he will look at you out of the corner of his eyes. Because of those things, we were asked to see a psychologist.

We met with Dr. Natalie Roth on February 11, 2010. She was sweet, quiet and great with Fisher. For the two hours we were there she just watched him. She gave him a puzzle that she said was a little advanced for two and three year olds and Fisher figured it out in less then a minute. This didn't surprise us. Fisher has always been good at puzzles. In fact we started getting him harder puzzles so he would at least have a challenge. I am glad we met with Dr. Roth. She informed us of many of Fisher's characteristics as being a little out of the ordinary. What we thought of as independence is really Fisher putting objects as more important than people. He uses people as a tool to get what he wants rather than using them as an interaction or social purpose. He doesn't care if he is playing with other people, he just wants to keep figuring things out on his own. It opened my eyes for sure!

Even though we always knew that Fisher had some sort of social disability, I still wasn't prepared when Dr. Roth told us that Fisher possibly has Autistic Spectrum Disorder or PDD. I mean, we have always questioned it, but to actually hear it brought on a lot of emotions for me. I don't know many families with autistic children. No one in my family, even cousins, have an autistic child. It just hit me and I didn't know what to do.

I cried. I love my son so much and I want the best for him. I want him to know that he is loved, to have friends, to go to college, to get married. I am so longing for the days when my son tells me he loves me and actually means it! I can't wait to share with my family and friends the funny things Fisher says. I don't know when that will happen and I am scared.

Thanks to the wonderful people up at the U, they where able to get us some information on ABA and speech therapy classes for Fisher. They tell us the sooner we get him into these programs the better chances for him to be able to go to a public school, make friends and eventually go on to college with no problems. If only it where that easy! The waiting list are insanely long! All I can do right now is pray and trust in our Heavenly Father. I know that someday Fisher will talk. Someday he will call me "Mommy".

Fisher is an amazing little boy. He melts my heart every day. He loves to cuddle with me. He loves to laugh with me. He is evening beginning to love his little brother more. I know that Fisher will do amazing things. I know this. But it's just going to be a little harder than I thought.

Growing Up!

It's hard to believe that I have two mobile boys now. It's true when they say that life gets a little crazier once they can move, but to my surprise I am actually loving it! Chase is now crawling. It's more like an army crawl but he gets to where he wants to be and he gets there fast! He is determined to be wherever Fisher is. If Fisher is at the table coloring, Chase wants to be at the table too. If Fisher is reading with Daddy, Chase is in Daddy's lab as well. It definitely makes my heart melt seeing how much Chase loves his big brother! I am so truly blessed to have such amazing little boys!

Fisher loves reading books. It's a routine in our family to read every night before bed. This has been a great bonding moment for Fisher and Wayne. They both look forward to this time and it's amazing to see how happy Fisher gets when he gets to sit on Daddy's lap and the adventure begin!

Fisher got his haircut for the first time! It was quite a new experience for all of us! Thanks to the advice of some great friends I took him to this place called Cookie Cutters. It specializes in haircuts for kids and they get to sit in some fun cars and watch a movie while getting their haircut. Fisher wasn't too thrilled about sitting in the car. And he definitely wasn't happy when they sprayed his head with water, but once the movie began and the scariness subsided, Fisher sat still and let them cut his hair. I really liked that place and will definitely take him back. They were fast and great with Fisher. I love his new haircut. He looks like such a grown up boy to me now!